Finally...Encouragement, The Norm? & 2 DLT'd Posts

6:34 PM
So today i had to to AFL (alameda free library) for my "interview" for homework coaching..(it was less an interview more of a "get to know you"...since ive been there for 2 years lol.) Well, something happened before my interview that i felt had at least God's fingertip in it. You see, i arrived at 3:40 (interview was at 3:50). I was directed to a spot to wait outside the room. It just so happens that a slightly chubby (asian i presume) man in his 30's was sitting at the same table i was at, on his laptop. Well, after about 4 minutes, the stranger asks me what kind of interview i was here for, and i tell him. We strike up some small talk, and he tells me how its so much harder to get into colleges now, with so many people, and yet we are so lucky that everyone has a cell phone and that we have the internet. He asks me what career im going into, and i say, well..i dont really know... and Mr. stranger (i still dont know his name) gives me the only advice he could, that was a referral to a book called "What Color is Your Parachute" By Richard Nelson Bolles. Picture of the book
and that Mr. Bolles came out with a new one each year. He tells me that he read a version when he was 20, and that he wished he read it at 16. I could not believe that some stranger outside of my interview room would care the least about my future, even so much so to give me advice on it. After my interview, we shook hands and he gave me the last bit of advice, to have a firm handshake :P
I walked away, with a grin, quite happy that i had this sudden occurance. I tried to find this book in the library, but sadly it was either checked out or it was never in the library. I doubt this was ever a coincidence, and i do hope to see this man again.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Whats a "normal person?" Is it just plainly the majority of people? If so, then how does one define the norm?
Consider this:
If say, 70% of a population was Caucasian, then a normal person would be caucasian.
If say, 80% of the people had blonde hair, then the normal person would be blonde.
If say, 74% of the population like chicken filled hot sauce fish burger beef steak, then the normal person would like it.
And it goes on, and on, and on...with every last detail, stating what the majority of the populus has or likes. Now, whats the probability of a scientist, singling out one person out of EVERYONE that has EVERY SINGLE one of these characteristics? um..can anyone say ZERO..well..Zero point zero zero zero one?
So in that case, is there really a "normal person?" Can we say, well the normal person has a 3.57 GPA? In theory, NO!!! Everyone has too many factors and characteristics to be put into one category of Normal.
Yet we still say, well..."hes not normal" or "a normal person doesnt do this"
people, you CANT establish a NORM!!! not 68% not 95% not 99.9%! (aka the 3 deviations lol..stats stuff :P)
_______________________________
Oh yeah, i deleted 2 of my old posts on this blog. cuz i felt like it.
GL -> GJ -> GG :D
Good luck, good job, good game.
8:12 (took me almost 2 hrs for this lol, but i did take breaks.)

Don't Make Me Regret. Don't Make Me Hate.

So the past week i've been ona cruise...I'm on aBoat!!! On my 10-day cruise to Alaska I had a lot of time to evaluate what my life is about and what i want. I also watched a lot of movies. To keep this short i will post about just a few movies that i watched over and over and that i liked. I absolutely loved the story of "Made of Honor" I watched it about 4 times. (it was replayed 12 times over the course of 3 days.) It's about a guy that likes a girl, but the girl wants him to be her maid of honor. She's about to get married and he...at the last minute declines maid of honor but leaves and sees a dog on the way and crashes the wedding. omg its so much sweeter than i made it sound. Heres a short clip of the BEST part of the movie. if you do not "awwww" at this, you are evil:

Gosh that is so cool. just those 2 lines *sigh xP
And i also..dare i say it...i watched Twilight...4 times...yes i did. and i liked it.
the story is pretty great (i never read the book.)
Just how he hates her for her blood and the love is like omg xD (The pretense that watching Twilight makes you a Nazi zombie is false for i am not a nazi now.)
I also watched "What Women want" twice. Its about this guy that gets electrified and could read womens minds. Now how do these 3 movies tie in to my title?
Well..heres the thing..When my mind feels rejected..no matter why or if it happend or not, just when it feels rejected...i start to hate the person subconciously..
Think Edward Cullen in the beginning of Twilight. I don't want to regret, and i don't want to hate. God, this is so damn hard. I don't know what a girl wants, looks? smarts? to care? I don't wanna go through life like the Made of Honor even though the ending is oh so sweet...
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse (Twilight BaseBall Scene) (you set my soul alight.)
Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park (First song of Twilight Credits)

Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Decode by Paramore BEST SONG HERE YET (2nd song of Twilight End Credits)
How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

PLEASE, if you care at ALL...just click all 3 songs and watch the 1:15 minute video.
It means ALOT to me. It only takes a few minutes to show that you care.
~

Summers here people. Wash Away the Past.

Summer's here people
Realize it.
Recognize it.
You got people in shorts
And people biking down the beach
Schools out, yay
Hope we don't miss our friends too much
Let's hang out.
Goto the mall
Watch a movie
Its the time to fly!
Lets grow wings to another country
Lets not forget the games
and endless hours couching with Mr.TV
Lets hold hands on the countryside.
or watch the July 4th parade side by side.
Lets have a picnic, me and you
and not stay home, feelin' blue.
go on xfire and lets go CODding
or fight Nazis, CoHing.
I'ma miss all my senior friends.
Hope you have fun, Gerard in France.
Lets not let life pass us by.
For me, 2 summers left, my my my.
Lets play tag, I'll catch you, or
Lets just hang, and see what it do.
Don't forget storytime, books and reading too.
Sign up for the Summer Reading program too!
Who cares if its a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just friends?
Lets just hang out, before the summer ends.

Yeah, hope ya'll aint too busy with your life and business to come hang out with lil ol' me.
Ye, well up there, theres a little something to each of my friends. especially you close lil buddies. Made it for all you. Nd if you here cuz i IMed you/xfired you/called you, etc. check out my other posts.

Make your summer special cuz you never know how many you have left.
Sup TarroYoko (gerard)
Sup Brach (brach xP nub. haha)



(Thousand Foot Kruth- The Art of Breaking) I just love how the part where he says "I'll pick you up,wont let u fall, i'll build ur trust and it wont hurt at all" sounds. especialy the "it wont hurt at all" its like cool =P i like the meaning of the song too =]

As MY World Turns

I've gone from the lil' 3rd grade kid that only 3 people would hang out with to being the life of parties.
I've gone from the kid that couldnt aim with a mouse for his life to being almost good enought to join an online league to wing $800.
I've become a person people would look at and see..hmm..theres something unique about him.
Who was I?
Who am I now?
Who will I be?
God only knows?
Will I go from someone who thinks twice about even talking to a girl, not to a pimp.., but someone who can gather up his guts to ask someone nice out?
I can only hope.
What is the change people see in me?
What do people see, when they look at me?
Do they see a genius?
Do they see a retard?
Do they see a still-growing child?
or Do they see a young man?
Do they see a generous guy with much to give?
or Do they see a selfish dog?
Do they see my kindness..or do they see the hate?
Do they see an open heart, or do they see the opposite?
Do they see God in me? or.
What/Who makes my world turn? Does he? or she? or that she? or me? or Him?

Why cant anyone see. the real me? no wait. some ppl do. nvm. =P

Well i have 2 finals tomorrow. and im blogging. good luck to me. prolly shudve studied instead. but hey re-analysis of self > than big test right?...right?!!?
anyway lol and good luck on YOUR finals guys =]

AMG! 2 posts in 15 minutes! =D

=O Yes i'm posting 2 in 15 minutes. cuz this one doesnt fit with the other and i made the other one but it just needed editing..like a few days ago. anyway.
Big Days.
What?
yeah, big days.
There are always gonna be "big days" in our lives. These "big" days get significantly bigger as we grow.
Like your first day of school. BiG DaY!. Then you have pre-school graduation! It gets bigger and bigger.
Haha like how Mel has a "big" day this saturday. XD SAT's anyone?
big days arent always very positive :(
but sometimes its nice to know we have something big to look forward to in life isnt it?
like first dates, first kisses, first marriages (haha no jk, but yeah marriage), and of course that day when that white shining door opens up for us to spend eternity.
exponentially bigger.
well. anyway. yeah. haha.

Keri Hilson rocks. or pops. w/e. lol
Lets lyric. (Yes i know. this is same song, but different stanza is quoted in my other blog and "looked" at. Anyway, a nice hmm...lets use a Monty Python word (btw Melissa u ever look up those vids? xD), a very "woody" song and not "tinny" at all.

Knock You Down by Keri Hilson everyone! lol
actually...nah...i wont...
nevermind.
i try not to use backspace. why? so that what i put. is what i put. whats done is done. but yeah haha nevermind.
so since this was a 2 blog in 15 min. or a bit more cuz i went afk....read the one under this too :)

PhenoM. dAtZ bE mE.

^does the title look retarded? humph. anyway!
Phenomenon. Lets all start callin' me that.
or.
Master Tactician. hmm... Tactical Coordinator sounds nice too.
Its been a while. since. just since.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do ( You got Me lost for Words, I dont know What to Say).
^ eROC - Speechless Chorus. Facebook hit. Good song.
And Cassie- Is it you
^hella old but damn its still good and gives me a nostalgic feeling.

Link below. Just cuz im listening to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-EOVZXNE
if u cant click it, highlight it then copy paste it.
So last time i posted...hmm..i think i was feeling more sad than happy?
anyway. i guess now im in a point where i dunno whether to be happy or sad. good for me. not really.
Whats still wrong?
Letsee, well the COD4 clan i wanna be in just recruited a really immature 16 year old instead of me. Minor problem? Meh i play alot of Call of Duty xD. Needless to say i was a pissed little geek for a bit.
My grades SUX. done deal.
Not much cheers me up.
games...im so good (its true) it gets boring...
hanging out...*whisper* to be honest...i dont hav many ppl to hang out wit..
i goto AHS once in a while...and i used togoto my friends house alot..but ...
homewking...who enjoys that?
pretty much throw ideas at me. like for me to do. i'll shoot em down for ya. that may be fun for 5 minutes. or so.
I hate it. hate what. being used. -.- Like yesterday's trash. Use once, or twice, then throw away. *sigh. ugh. if u gonna throw something away, dont use it in the first place. especially if its a person. great tip. -.-
hmm.
Apparently im a great tactitician..i wonder if that could be a FIRST position..
Inventor/Master Tactician. that sounds cool.
anyway ima cut it short here. just so i can see mel's comment before i goto bed. lol.
i'm gonna promise this. unless i change my mind about how my next blog will affect readers. anyway next one should be interesting and sorta revealing. =] no im not gay, carrie. xDDD anyway bye!. <- =O a Xclmation mark AND a period?

Pet Peevez (Peev - Vez.) *Beep Beep File Over-RideE.

Ho-Hum. Been longer than i usually take to blog...but a bit busy lately.
I would have put this on my "splitter" blog (private one) but iuno this pertains alot to ccs and public...
Anyway...for some reason i dont remember..in my blog notes (yes i put my blog ideas and stuff in notes on a piece of paper lol...) i put the word "shitty" on it, but dont remember why now..and then i wrote next to it "will only go into 4 things but in depth." so i guess that means i will write about only 4 hate/peeves. No idea how that relates to me putting "shitty" there for...anyway lets not mind that. Lets jump into the water. (Back in the Water - jesse mccartney) anyone? anyway SPLOOSH!*
Boy im gonna be pissed after writing this...(memories...)
1. Discrimminating teachers- you know the teachers that just hate.
Most people know Mr. D Han. I have a few friends that call him a *non PG word(el oh el.) He just hates. I dont even know why he hates me. Oh wait, i DO know.
Everyone knows Mrs. Carlson has favorites (this will apply in a sec.) Luckily, im one of them. Shes always tellin the class how im smart and can do stuff twice as fast..and get them right...(and that i need to show work and write less sloppily cuz ppl cant follow wat im doin) And guess what Mr.Han is always in the classroom..his office is there. So one day, Little Daniel subs for our class and we had some classwork. Well...like 5 people are asking me for help and im justhelping them. Little Daniel just comes by and starts sayin stuff like "your not so special blah blah blah" and im really just like WTF...im just helpin ppl. and omg this 1 thing already so long. I was gonna say how Mrs. Sun(mandarin) is a bad teacher too..but w/e. you get the gist of wat i hate.
2. Kids that think they're in authority. Especially if they're a real butthole about it...hey at least i get to see the real side of people...like that andrew kid...(junior..this should ring a bell..and yes carrie this is one of the 2 guys i told u to block on facebook? the dude that bought me from u on friends for sale? ye that guy.) Anyone else in ccs notice that if u talk to him he acts like hes all that but if u dont talk to him hes all quiet and just stares at stuff? haha the other day the kid was all acting like hes admin of school comps cuz i was using it and that alan go kid was buggin me so andrews just pushes me awaya nd logs off..well guess what he didnt know, im a comp maintent. kid too so in his face. xD. immaturity vs immaturity!
3. People that use: proms,formals,balls,etc. as a first date thing. Anyone else here think thats extremely shallow? seriously ive had friends that ask ppl to events as a first date. i usually tell em not too...bah half the time they dont listen. things like that are like 3rd date plus invites. Why would u ask someone that u dont even know if they like you?
4. Age discrimination (half jokingly.) K. Lets start with this. a 26 yr old talking to a 27 year old. Who here can see the difference? GOOD JOB YOU CANT. So. Why does my grade treat some freshmen different from sophs? and for soulsakes why can Mel high five juniors but not me? >=[ im pretty sure that was a joke. but its so frikkin true. ... im just gonna dot dot dot for a while. ... .... ...
seriously?
K. Now to examine our sin nature shall we?
I will say a true given fact about myself.
" I, Simon Ho, am more mature than i was 4-6 months ago, in spirit and in mind."
Now i want you ALL to comment me with a comment including this: what was your first thought when u read this? BE HONEST.
if you were thinking about chicken, say CHICKEN.
if you thought "No your not..." Then say that. <--that is our sin nature. Our first thought would normally be to contradict the given.
even though i explained it. post your thoughts. and believe me, i AM expecting a "no your not." prove me right or wrong, just be honest.
and to end...my private sig.
-=TimeSplitter [The Real Splitter]

Photoshop?

So..Melissa wnted me to blog about photoshop?
lol
either she replied to the wrong IM or..well i dunno, anyway here it is. lets start with defintion
Photo manipulation is the application of image editing techniques to photographs in order to create an illusion or deception , courtesy of google and wiki ;)

K...i havnt really used photoshop, never installed PS, and i think i only touched it once.
Yay me.
It makes pictures look good i guess. I use Picasa...pretty much the same thing..i hav some cool pix of that on my myspace(no idea wat linkto my myspace is and im too lzy to go there.)k, so hmm...mel's in yrbook so im guessin she uses it alot? dunno..
Photoshop...pictures...pictures are cool. I like pictures. They speak 1000+ words.
I like taking pictures...um...yeah.

so...anyway lol,
i was at library homework coaching, and this cute little kid (2nd grade i think) named Brandon(i think) came in and was doing his homework...and it had something to do with love and we had the HARDEST time trying to explain to a 2nd grader what love was...haha..funny stuff
but eventually one of us said "its like giving your heart to someone"
and then brandon said "why would you want to give your heart to someone?"
*sigh...
aww moment.
aww moment some more.
now.. why WOULD u giv ur heart to someone?
lol...
yeah well anyway, this short lil blog is all i have time for at the moment...gotta tell mel to comment =P

and if anyone's seen my AIM buddy info lately, ive decided most of the world isnt ready to see my other blog ;].

Life sucks, Lets all goto Heaven...Right Now. (Emo-moo-cow stylez)

I always wished..that my blog would impact someones life, and it might have..and it also might not have.
And whether it has or not, im still sorta glad i made this.
It helps me put out what i am and i can read it over and analyze myself.
I also wish..that my life would be impacted in a really good way.
But...no.
Everything was better last year when i didnt care about anything.
Last year i could care less about anything and everything turned out great.
Now i care about people's feelings and stuff and i end up worse.
Last year i was friends only with real people and people i really wanted to get to know (both guys and girls.)This year i have more friends but half of em are fake.
Last year i had great relationships and now.. its not as cool.; a great example would be melissa, yea you!
By now ya'll kno i notice any and everything people do and that includes changes in behavior. I DO notice everything...we talk less, u seem to care less, u seem to respect me less(tho i prolly deserve that..) , u never want to hang out (yeah okay ur busy..i understand that lol), and either coincidentally or not, u seem to leave when i show up somewhere...that or we sit there with nothing to talk about =[. Until someone else comes. But yeah i dunno if u do this on purpose or not and if u notice it or not...but thats whats happening =[ and any bad relationship with any of my friends make me sad ='[
Last year, i ended with about 722 bucks in my little bank account, at this moment i have 30 dollars.
Last year, my parents didnt show their love too much, but they argue more with me this year..
Somehow, everything changed. EVERYTHING. and i HATE it. Will everyone help me work things out so everything was like last year? Even for just one day.
Is my life really this miserable...or is it that i only notice all the bad things.
A few posts ago i was offering help and my email for those who needed support.
Now I NEED YOUR HELP.
*sigh...fine.."pretty pretty please? with a cherry on top?"
*'*Anonymous/openID comments accepted, email: timesplitter101@gmail.com , AIM: IczyG999 (private)
okay. so im prolly ending v-day half content but i still hate valentines..lol(not really lol).

Some things Ive Learned

I've learned a few things in the past 2 years during different situations of my life...its obvious where they are from. Doubt you can find this on the internet, came from the top of my head as well as my AIM buddy info lol.

I'll start with the most important thing: I'm a selfish person and my priorities arent right and i really need God's help.
I learned that i've had things catered to me all my life i want things catered to me now.
I dont know what the h-e-double hockeysticks to do when i like a girl.
I need to pray.
I need to pray for God to help me lead a more selfless life. To put other first.
John 3:30 says "He must become greater; I must become less"

fewchr49er (11:45:56 PM): God must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:01 PM): Jesus Christ must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:06 PM): and you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:46:31 PM): He must increase, you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:47:18 PM): remember when we met up in my office...and we were talking about this all? i wanted you to realize what identity in Christ means...and how that affects your life

fewchr49er (11:48:19 PM): cuz i truly believe that when you finally believe that you are fully loved, cherished, accepted, and significant in God's eyes no matter what......then you can love others they way Christ did: selflessly and sacrificially

fewchr49er (11:49:31 PM): you don't need (****) to make you feel accepted. you don't even need me to make you feel important. somehow, some way...you've got to wholeheartedly believe that all that matters is your relationship with God.

yup. i need to be a more selfless and Godly man which is a grueling journey as i've been told.
I gots to put others first and care more about others
and not how people make me feel or what they can do for me, but how i can make them feel and what i can do for THEM.
And with friends like mine, im pretty sures i can do it.
so...who wants to come along for the journey?
(although you'll prolly never read this, ty so much toby =].)

so what else have i learned?
an important thing is people have "nice" levels. Friendly levels? dunno what im talkin bout? let me explain.
in this world there are people where if they just smile at you, then you know they are being nice or they like u, BUT there are also people where if al they do is just smile at you then you know somethings wrong.
like say there are 2 girls, ones really shy and ones really popular. If the shy girl smiles at u and just says like 6 words to u, then well wow right? but if the popular one just says 6 words and gives u asmile then its like what the...whatd i do wrong? u kno that kinda thing.
I analyze most people like this lol, like lets umm.. take an example that ahem..
lets just take
err..ashley (melissa's sister) for example lol. sorry, but this is a really good example.
shes a really friendly person that talks to her friends alot and stuff, but if shes not in the mood, or pissed or something she gives ppl a wierd smile =P iuno if any1 else notices it. she still talks to em but her smile's differnt. that kinda thing.
also people act differntly when they hear about stuff, like rumors and stuff.
someone may be really friendly and stuff but usually if they hear gossip/rumors and stuff about a person that attitude changes...its really hard to say it in words but argh...
lets try this:
person 1 talks to person 2 alot (1000 words), person 1 hears rumor/gossip, person 1 now talks to person 2 (400 words) and person 2 probably wonders wow what the () just happend?, person 1 hears more stupid stuff, now talks to person 2 even less (20 words)...that kinda thing. not the best example i know.
so the point of this i guess is watch what you all say/act around me (not like to be mature or not) but just cuz i can watch and tell people's friendly levels and i KNOW somethings wrong when it is, and i never ask cuz i want to know, its cuz i wanna see how bad it is and if they'll tell me or not :)
yes i kno this can be sort of confusing in a way, but i hope the point was gotten =P
alotta people do subtle perhaps even subconscious things to show things.
Some are more obvious than others..
like if they think you're boring, they'll leave ur conversations (this is actually more subtle though in words it doesnt look it.)
people naturally talk to other people less for a few reasons which may or may not be independent: they know something you dont, they think you know something they know, they simply dont like you, they're mad, etc.
and iuno some of these might not be true...could be me just over analyzing EVERYTHINg that EVERYONE does...iuno...just alotta things i feel are wrong and i feel like i know why but im not sure and not sure i really want to know...and everything i do..comes back to bite me hard in the face..every single thing i try to do to better my life(selfish i know...) or someone elses...

I learned i need friends i can count on...and that there are 3 main things in life that should be prioritized (as a high schooler/collge):
God, friends, grades.
I will put what the order i my life is in and how i think it should be and i encourge comments to include this as well.
Me: Friends,God,grades
What it should be: God,Friends,Grades
For a lot of people at this age though...its Grades,Friends, God...which really sucks cuz i think that if a friend needs me i should and would help them and drop all my hw and studying for them...i dunno...

meh, anyway, one more thing, i just read through my yearbooks through for like the past hour, and i find that alot of people dont mean what they say..which sucks cuz i dont like fake people...like some people say "oh your so cool" or "we should hang out more" but the next year its all different from what they say there...seriously..
i try to mean what i say at least lol.

hmm...anything else...
well what kinda guy am i?
im not:
the most athletic, the most good looking, and depending who/where u ask, im not the most popular (popularity is a bit shallow i'nt it? lol)
i AM:
smart...sorta...
fun(ny) (i try? lol)
sensitive (anyone can probably tell that if they read my blogs)
again depending on who/where u ask, im popular...but <--i dont really care bout that... i'd say "deep" but then saying it would be shallow and now that i just said it <.< though

now afterrrr reading all this and if anyone has any questions, advice, tips, need guidance?
i could tell you anything from how love is different from just chemicals in your brain to why porn is bad for your health, to what i think about time-space continuum to my thoughts on suicide. =D

="D" href="mailto:simrayho@yahoo.com">simrayho@yahoo.com (spam not accepted)
IczyG 999 (AIM)