Some things Ive Learned

I've learned a few things in the past 2 years during different situations of my life...its obvious where they are from. Doubt you can find this on the internet, came from the top of my head as well as my AIM buddy info lol.

I'll start with the most important thing: I'm a selfish person and my priorities arent right and i really need God's help.
I learned that i've had things catered to me all my life i want things catered to me now.
I dont know what the h-e-double hockeysticks to do when i like a girl.
I need to pray.
I need to pray for God to help me lead a more selfless life. To put other first.
John 3:30 says "He must become greater; I must become less"

fewchr49er (11:45:56 PM): God must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:01 PM): Jesus Christ must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:06 PM): and you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:46:31 PM): He must increase, you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:47:18 PM): remember when we met up in my office...and we were talking about this all? i wanted you to realize what identity in Christ means...and how that affects your life

fewchr49er (11:48:19 PM): cuz i truly believe that when you finally believe that you are fully loved, cherished, accepted, and significant in God's eyes no matter what......then you can love others they way Christ did: selflessly and sacrificially

fewchr49er (11:49:31 PM): you don't need (****) to make you feel accepted. you don't even need me to make you feel important. somehow, some way...you've got to wholeheartedly believe that all that matters is your relationship with God.

yup. i need to be a more selfless and Godly man which is a grueling journey as i've been told.
I gots to put others first and care more about others
and not how people make me feel or what they can do for me, but how i can make them feel and what i can do for THEM.
And with friends like mine, im pretty sures i can do it.
so...who wants to come along for the journey?
(although you'll prolly never read this, ty so much toby =].)

so what else have i learned?
an important thing is people have "nice" levels. Friendly levels? dunno what im talkin bout? let me explain.
in this world there are people where if they just smile at you, then you know they are being nice or they like u, BUT there are also people where if al they do is just smile at you then you know somethings wrong.
like say there are 2 girls, ones really shy and ones really popular. If the shy girl smiles at u and just says like 6 words to u, then well wow right? but if the popular one just says 6 words and gives u asmile then its like what the...whatd i do wrong? u kno that kinda thing.
I analyze most people like this lol, like lets umm.. take an example that ahem..
lets just take
err..ashley (melissa's sister) for example lol. sorry, but this is a really good example.
shes a really friendly person that talks to her friends alot and stuff, but if shes not in the mood, or pissed or something she gives ppl a wierd smile =P iuno if any1 else notices it. she still talks to em but her smile's differnt. that kinda thing.
also people act differntly when they hear about stuff, like rumors and stuff.
someone may be really friendly and stuff but usually if they hear gossip/rumors and stuff about a person that attitude changes...its really hard to say it in words but argh...
lets try this:
person 1 talks to person 2 alot (1000 words), person 1 hears rumor/gossip, person 1 now talks to person 2 (400 words) and person 2 probably wonders wow what the () just happend?, person 1 hears more stupid stuff, now talks to person 2 even less (20 words)...that kinda thing. not the best example i know.
so the point of this i guess is watch what you all say/act around me (not like to be mature or not) but just cuz i can watch and tell people's friendly levels and i KNOW somethings wrong when it is, and i never ask cuz i want to know, its cuz i wanna see how bad it is and if they'll tell me or not :)
yes i kno this can be sort of confusing in a way, but i hope the point was gotten =P
alotta people do subtle perhaps even subconscious things to show things.
Some are more obvious than others..
like if they think you're boring, they'll leave ur conversations (this is actually more subtle though in words it doesnt look it.)
people naturally talk to other people less for a few reasons which may or may not be independent: they know something you dont, they think you know something they know, they simply dont like you, they're mad, etc.
and iuno some of these might not be true...could be me just over analyzing EVERYTHINg that EVERYONE does...iuno...just alotta things i feel are wrong and i feel like i know why but im not sure and not sure i really want to know...and everything i do..comes back to bite me hard in the face..every single thing i try to do to better my life(selfish i know...) or someone elses...

I learned i need friends i can count on...and that there are 3 main things in life that should be prioritized (as a high schooler/collge):
God, friends, grades.
I will put what the order i my life is in and how i think it should be and i encourge comments to include this as well.
Me: Friends,God,grades
What it should be: God,Friends,Grades
For a lot of people at this age though...its Grades,Friends, God...which really sucks cuz i think that if a friend needs me i should and would help them and drop all my hw and studying for them...i dunno...

meh, anyway, one more thing, i just read through my yearbooks through for like the past hour, and i find that alot of people dont mean what they say..which sucks cuz i dont like fake people...like some people say "oh your so cool" or "we should hang out more" but the next year its all different from what they say there...seriously..
i try to mean what i say at least lol.

hmm...anything else...
well what kinda guy am i?
im not:
the most athletic, the most good looking, and depending who/where u ask, im not the most popular (popularity is a bit shallow i'nt it? lol)
i AM:
smart...sorta...
fun(ny) (i try? lol)
sensitive (anyone can probably tell that if they read my blogs)
again depending on who/where u ask, im popular...but <--i dont really care bout that... i'd say "deep" but then saying it would be shallow and now that i just said it <.< though

now afterrrr reading all this and if anyone has any questions, advice, tips, need guidance?
i could tell you anything from how love is different from just chemicals in your brain to why porn is bad for your health, to what i think about time-space continuum to my thoughts on suicide. =D

="D" href="mailto:simrayho@yahoo.com">simrayho@yahoo.com (spam not accepted)
IczyG 999 (AIM)

What I Feel Though Noone Cares

So, i started this "draft" about 2 or 3 weeks ago..3 i think. below is what i thought about writing about. the one directly below i wrote 3 weeks ago.

Every guy needs that one girl, that he understands, that understands him, the one that comforts him, and he comforts her,

^forget that...anyway...a week ago i was going to blog about Cho Seung Hui. type that name in google...and also about suicide victims, the how, the why, and why they aren't crazy or stupid.

then about 4 days ago was like nah, i'll blog about friendships, but yesterday, that speaker at chapel talked about it and had all my points except 1: Pity does not = friendship, even though alotta ppl pity ppl then become their friends...had a few experiences of that myself...but pity not = friendship...now...

i'll rant about FIRST...then...perhaps some other non sequitor random thoughts.. here we go, put on ur seat belts..

disclaimer: this is in no way to be offensive to first members/friends in first/especially not you melissa =P....i'll just state a few facts/opinions...okay...wel...even though i say no offense its hard not be offended sometimes, dont take a rant too seriusly =]
FIRST really changes some people...ppl yell at ppl more...less friendly..as if we could get 2nd to last...facts facts facts rude? letdown? its fact...yes we hav 6000 or so bucks, but seriously we're like 10 weeks behind 99.99% the other teams...ever since we started, so since we dont really win and we really fail, dont take it so...hard...i mean yeah sure be serious about it but dont get all pissed over nothing...like...nvm...ppl kno who takes it too seriously...anyway..moving on...

FIRST: F...I....Robot(?)...S....T...forgot what they stand for anyyyyyyways..
ok...so i may be a newb/rookie/noob/n00b....w/e (noob: name commonly used by computer nerds in the computer world used for putting down others in order to compensate for their smallness in life) thanks to A.Chow/Alex Chow(great(*donkey*) artist) for the definition (tytytyty bro, and alex, u shud put that def. back in ur buddy info!)

and yes all grunt jobs goto...rookies...but that tradition should be broken geez if u give all that stuff to the new ppl, what if they quit cuz they have exactly zero amount of fun? guess people never thnk about it and just accept it ...

thats not what i hate most...what i hate most is the fact that the people i hafta answer to...(perhaps 88% of them...) are err... smart people with no life...computer nerds (as Achow puts it, and no NOT geeks, geeks refer to smart ppl with a life...i.e.well..me..yes im a geek...)
or ppl that are the same as me (elton? seriously now?!?!?!? he tells me wat to do? seriously...)
or ppl that are less mature than i am (jeffrey...*yells in frustration...little kid...acts like i did in 8th grade...like exactly like me, likes to mess around with people and acts mature about 15% of the time) and this is the guy that keeps sayin "haha i hafta watch you! i hafta watch you!" (immature retard...) *cough *cough i didnt say that -.- whatever its a blog...
also lets get some definitions eh? Geek: smart with a social life, Nerd: smart with no social life, Dork: stupid no life, Normal: not the smartest, has a life, popular: usually stupid with a life.
(how melissa made social butterfly in yearbook while being smart ceases to amaze me haha jk jk =P)
geez...its hard to let out anger in text...perhaps i should youtube vid...humph...you all hav no idea how mad i get when ppl like...*cough huh? *cough (may choose to edit and post names later..) boss me around like they all that... okay so you joined FIRST 1 or 2 years earlier...experience? yeah yeah whatever....
gosh this rant isnt expressing what im trying to express...perhaps i really should have done a Cho Seung Hui blog first...(if ur too lazy its V.Tech killer, no he wasnt crazy, no he wasnt stupid, now stop criticizing him, he was psychologically correct in all his thinkings except the fact that he thought he was dying like Jesus/ and the fact that he used a weapon to show it, he was actuallly a nice guy...) if you're stubborn and still think he's crazy/stupid/etc. then think im crazy whatever...i hav similar views on the world but no i wont do what he did...im almost completely harmless...
if people talked to him, helped him, asked how he felt just once...he'd still be alive...
(hello? hint hint...)
oh yeah, i did a half hour job in 10 min...bah nvm like anyone cares...i dont even care about that anymore..not worth ranting about...
ok..i'll edit this post later..if i hav anymore ideas about FIRST

Anyway, i included some tags/labels and if anyone wants to have a deep conversation about life/death/suicide (i seriously do understand)/etc. i will be here, my public AIM is shouter123 and im on half the day (12 hrs ish on weekdends) and private AIM is IczyG 999,
my email is simrayho@yahoo.com (no spam please...dont be immature like jeffrey/albert (kid at school thats only mature half the time)

and if you wanna help me out? (i need some help in life, its a "valley" right now...my grades suck more than usual, i doubt the girl i like even likes me the slightest bit anymore, my parents for some reason get stricter as i get older...-.- and much more...)
im always free to talk at school, if you're a friend that goes to ccs (my school.).

"how can you be broken if you were never whole?"

h-huhhum...if you're in a downhill curve in life, media(songs and such) help ease the pain but dont always trust the words/lyrics...
like this one song: (good charlotte: break apart her heart) it basically said this: if you wanna keep the girl for life, break her heart first and though i can see how that can "work" that sucks if u hafta hurt her to keep her...

anyway its almost 10pm, cant think too much now, yeah well cya readers around.
contact me sometime =]
it may or may not seem like it, and most people say this and cant back it up, but i'll say this:
"i understand more about things than most people do" i.e. life/time-space(i find it really interesting) and even relationships (parent?)(girl/guy?)(friends?) though my own relationships arent the best, i do understand, so yeah ppl come talk to me!
gl gt gj gg
good luck, good try, good job, good gam3.

Fish in the Sea Yada Yada Yada

WARNING!!!!! not really but anyway, this blog is gonna be really long...but i promise you...you will get something out of it and you will find it interesting...thats a PROMISE..so yeah read the whole thing..shouldnt take u 5 minutes...took me like 30 min to type this up lol

so me, me me me me me...
well...i used to be somewhat conceited though it was mostly jokingly lol.
i tend to come off as a bit immature, yes a bit, but in reality...im really not...now you're looking for a "PSYCH!" but no really...i just talk alot...and that can be seen in alot of ways and yes im trying to stop talkin so much, and yeah i know i can be slightly annoying at times ( one of the reasons i "suck" im sure...)
well heres my err..greatest..flaw? yeah well here it is, and quite unknown to well everyone actually: fact is, i overanalyze what people say to me...heres an example: if i say hi/hey/wtsup/etc. to especially a girl (><), and she says hi back...i will completely "analyze" how she said it, her tone of voice, any motions that signal how she feels at the moment, and yeah its sorta weird >.< wrong ="[...but">.<
seriously though...im not that bad of a guy am i? i mean im always trying to be that caring, compassionate, guy that is also a good listener, ya kno, "perfect guy" cept for tall dark and handsome....lol...anway..
so lets leave this with a few cool questions/quotes that i thought up either in some class or at 10pm at night in my bed:
1. got hope? (seriously think about that)

2. Love is the sworn enemy of the heart.

3. There is no absolute truth except the one just stated. (this isnt true i know it, i just put this here cuz people keep using that stupid 12 year old comeback: how bout the one u just said?)

4. (in no way does this apply to me as im not emo lol) in Kanye West's song: Stronger, he says "that that dont kill me, can only make me stronger" now...what if it does kill you? like you know..inside...again this dont apply to me..just a cool thing to think about lol

5. If you had one "do-over-free" card, what would you do? seriously would you do anything? cuz you know..without that one "bad" thing...you might not be where you are today, or feel the way you feel today...i thought about it, and seriously, i'd say no thanks

6. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made? What did you learn from it?

7. Profound things dont come to you when you try to be profound, they come to you when you least expect it, i.e. when you're doing nothing/just sitting around/doing homework...its true, just take 10 minutes right now and try your best and try to think up something profound/deep...bet you cant...it doesnt come like that =]

8. Life is like a train (the old kind ya kno the ones that run on coal)..in 2 ways:
You get on (birth) and you ride through life, cant escape from it until you get off, and all you can really do is make the best out of the scenery, and when you get to your stop, you get off and step into Heaven.
You get on the train and you may be sitting in coach or maybe your sitting in economy..throughout the ride, you move through the train, sometimes stepping into rooms worst than yours like the place they keep all the coal to move the train, or sometimes you step into a cool room way more luxorious than yours. Getting off means the same thing.
Thing is, life has its ups and downs and all we can really do is make the best of it...
i like the 2nd one more cuz i know i feel more like im in a worse place than i started all the time...

9. There are many more fish in the sea...does anyone but me see that comment as a bit stupid? why? cuz...lets say ur fishing...u want to catch lets say...a big giant catfish to bring home to your family..but guess what, all u catch is 20 goldfish, 1 guppie, and 2 anchovies, hey look u didnt just catch 1 fish! u caught 23!!! can u feed ur family? no! does it mean anything? probably not!..so who cares how many fish (girls)..are out there...it doesnt mean anything except for that one (in a trillion..) that would really like you(me)(whoever) back..thats really kind, beautiful, blah blah you know...and however many other "fish" there are in the sea...could be infinite..wont matter...NoTe: in no way am i comparing girls to fish. haha lol =]

anyway yeah i know this is really really long, but comments!!!
hey yea i hav anonymous comments enabled, so if you comment, be so kind to leave ur name if u dont want to sign on ur blog/ or ur just some stranger/ or ur a friend who dont hav a blog =]

So...Been Thinking

So anyway, i was at church, in Sunday School yesterday
Yeah, well we had to write down 3 things we were a failure at since we became teenagers (anonymous)...Well, im an epic fail we know that, and it got me thinking about the biggest mistakes i ever made...and i guess...i KNOW the biggest one i ever made was as an immature little kid in 7th grade...well everybody likes someone and everybody wants to know who other people like, and my personal greatest epic fail was playing a game with it...
hey, is it ___? maybe, pick a letter, oh hey guess wat it has an "e" in it somewhere...stuff like that... and i guess i messed around with this stuff too much...people figure it out and things spreaad and eventually "she" hears about it from her friends...all awkward and stuff...*sigh* looking back, i realize that i was so stupid....so so so stupid....now i know, but i wish i knew then...
and guess what, at least i learned something: if i like someone i shud either not tell anyone at all, no games nothing, or tell it straight out...and whatever happens, she should be the FIRST...not last to know...and yeah i know i still can be immature alot, but i guess i'll grow, with a few friends helping me eh? =D thanks to my friends for well being there for me to vent, talk to, give me hope...thanks
i'll be there for you too =]

yeah well, thats my blog for the week, comment and yeah tell me how i fail at life, its been accepted, lol, commentzzz

**Since you been gone, ive been down and lonely
Since you been gone, ive been thinking of you**
-=Diana Ross=-
that song is sooo old, like 70's old, anyway the jabba remix of it sounds cool and lyrics mean something

i hope my blog wasnt in anyway corny, wasnt intended

ooh =D

hey cool blogger changed its format
anyway, i havnt been on as i been home alot and on call of duty =( [nerd]
lol anyway, im at library rite now
dont wanna come back to school...summer just is like ....*whew* gone...and its been like what 3 weeks...not 3 months...this sux....i mean sure u get to c ur friends and stuff...but summer is just so much more fulfilling and gosh i cant think right now...i dont wanna go back to school
wahhhhhhhhh

*
**
***
**
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errr....
my job is to be your optimism.
haha hey that sounded pretty cool, yeah i made that up like 20 seconds ago >.< =D

my life as a well...jus some guy that nobody notices =D

haha well
letsee
i had a take home test, 7 pages front back, and a 3 hr final this thursday...ALL on statistics...how fun
hey at least i dont got summer work =D haha
there shudnt be AP classes, everybody should just take all the same classes likei n 5th grade
that way, itd be grades and not just o hey he took AP!
blah blah blah..too much work too
>.<


im gonna be random 2day
so...err....o hey, i actually hav 3 people that read my blog!
haha used to be just john and melissa, nwo some dude that was looking thru his
friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' blogspots, came upon mine and ssaw i played CODfish4! lol
how fun
just for him, >.< i will talk about codfish for a moment
=JCC=IczyG= i have joined new clan! yay
{WEED}Altair, knife only acct
FatBabyBstard <---heheh new acct
and wow that made me sound so geeky
crap...thats bad for image huh? o well
lolz

errr...
hmm....
i have a dude in my stats class that looks like P. Diddy =D
and this dude that sorta looks like Luda, Ludacris =D
err....
hmm....

well..im at library =) and on meebo
thats about it for now
o yeah, im goin to a play at chabot...on sunday...at 2 o clock...i hope i can make it
i hope its good...
haha lol! im sure it will be
=D

o hey, has anyone ever wondered how things would be like...when everything perfect?
heres my 'renditions':
dinner: anything i can afford
ideal-perfect dinner: fancy restraunt, table by the window, right by beach, then after, walk on the beach =) plus cuddling o how fun....

the date: prolly anything i can afford >.<
ideal: anything she wants...and....if its a movie, nothing scarier than the Joker >.< haha lol

the gift: 1 flower i find on some garden...or something i can afford
ideal: flowers, jewelry, or anything she asked for =D

the girl: whoever God gives me, beautiful, and likes me for who i am
ideal: same as above


dumdeedumdumdum
im gonna do a "my job" line that i will make up after every one of my blogs starting today
just to start it off...i will do 2 today =D

"My job--is to make you feel like the beautiful person you are, when you are feeling ugly."
"My job--is to listen to your every word, and remember those words forever, or at least for 10 years."
=D

)-=iczy=-(

haha =P

man, i cant believe nobody replied to my last post
who DOESNT think im hot seriously lolz
haha
im bein bored at library
err.. i got A+ on statistics test yay me
life been boring
ish
not really
life been sucking
ish
not really either
o hey, its wednesday = FREE ICED COFFEE! at starbuckz lol
i got a card =D
pretty tight

dum dee dum

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monday =D
shhhhhhhhhhhh
=)
lol
=P
bye bye