What I Feel Though Noone Cares

So, i started this "draft" about 2 or 3 weeks ago..3 i think. below is what i thought about writing about. the one directly below i wrote 3 weeks ago.

Every guy needs that one girl, that he understands, that understands him, the one that comforts him, and he comforts her,

^forget that...anyway...a week ago i was going to blog about Cho Seung Hui. type that name in google...and also about suicide victims, the how, the why, and why they aren't crazy or stupid.

then about 4 days ago was like nah, i'll blog about friendships, but yesterday, that speaker at chapel talked about it and had all my points except 1: Pity does not = friendship, even though alotta ppl pity ppl then become their friends...had a few experiences of that myself...but pity not = friendship...now...

i'll rant about FIRST...then...perhaps some other non sequitor random thoughts.. here we go, put on ur seat belts..

disclaimer: this is in no way to be offensive to first members/friends in first/especially not you melissa =P....i'll just state a few facts/opinions...okay...wel...even though i say no offense its hard not be offended sometimes, dont take a rant too seriusly =]
FIRST really changes some people...ppl yell at ppl more...less friendly..as if we could get 2nd to last...facts facts facts rude? letdown? its fact...yes we hav 6000 or so bucks, but seriously we're like 10 weeks behind 99.99% the other teams...ever since we started, so since we dont really win and we really fail, dont take it so...hard...i mean yeah sure be serious about it but dont get all pissed over nothing...like...nvm...ppl kno who takes it too seriously...anyway..moving on...

FIRST: F...I....Robot(?)...S....T...forgot what they stand for anyyyyyyways..
ok...so i may be a newb/rookie/noob/n00b....w/e (noob: name commonly used by computer nerds in the computer world used for putting down others in order to compensate for their smallness in life) thanks to A.Chow/Alex Chow(great(*donkey*) artist) for the definition (tytytyty bro, and alex, u shud put that def. back in ur buddy info!)

and yes all grunt jobs goto...rookies...but that tradition should be broken geez if u give all that stuff to the new ppl, what if they quit cuz they have exactly zero amount of fun? guess people never thnk about it and just accept it ...

thats not what i hate most...what i hate most is the fact that the people i hafta answer to...(perhaps 88% of them...) are err... smart people with no life...computer nerds (as Achow puts it, and no NOT geeks, geeks refer to smart ppl with a life...i.e.well..me..yes im a geek...)
or ppl that are the same as me (elton? seriously now?!?!?!? he tells me wat to do? seriously...)
or ppl that are less mature than i am (jeffrey...*yells in frustration...little kid...acts like i did in 8th grade...like exactly like me, likes to mess around with people and acts mature about 15% of the time) and this is the guy that keeps sayin "haha i hafta watch you! i hafta watch you!" (immature retard...) *cough *cough i didnt say that -.- whatever its a blog...
also lets get some definitions eh? Geek: smart with a social life, Nerd: smart with no social life, Dork: stupid no life, Normal: not the smartest, has a life, popular: usually stupid with a life.
(how melissa made social butterfly in yearbook while being smart ceases to amaze me haha jk jk =P)
geez...its hard to let out anger in text...perhaps i should youtube vid...humph...you all hav no idea how mad i get when ppl like...*cough huh? *cough (may choose to edit and post names later..) boss me around like they all that... okay so you joined FIRST 1 or 2 years earlier...experience? yeah yeah whatever....
gosh this rant isnt expressing what im trying to express...perhaps i really should have done a Cho Seung Hui blog first...(if ur too lazy its V.Tech killer, no he wasnt crazy, no he wasnt stupid, now stop criticizing him, he was psychologically correct in all his thinkings except the fact that he thought he was dying like Jesus/ and the fact that he used a weapon to show it, he was actuallly a nice guy...) if you're stubborn and still think he's crazy/stupid/etc. then think im crazy whatever...i hav similar views on the world but no i wont do what he did...im almost completely harmless...
if people talked to him, helped him, asked how he felt just once...he'd still be alive...
(hello? hint hint...)
oh yeah, i did a half hour job in 10 min...bah nvm like anyone cares...i dont even care about that anymore..not worth ranting about...
ok..i'll edit this post later..if i hav anymore ideas about FIRST

Anyway, i included some tags/labels and if anyone wants to have a deep conversation about life/death/suicide (i seriously do understand)/etc. i will be here, my public AIM is shouter123 and im on half the day (12 hrs ish on weekdends) and private AIM is IczyG 999,
my email is simrayho@yahoo.com (no spam please...dont be immature like jeffrey/albert (kid at school thats only mature half the time)

and if you wanna help me out? (i need some help in life, its a "valley" right now...my grades suck more than usual, i doubt the girl i like even likes me the slightest bit anymore, my parents for some reason get stricter as i get older...-.- and much more...)
im always free to talk at school, if you're a friend that goes to ccs (my school.).

"how can you be broken if you were never whole?"

h-huhhum...if you're in a downhill curve in life, media(songs and such) help ease the pain but dont always trust the words/lyrics...
like this one song: (good charlotte: break apart her heart) it basically said this: if you wanna keep the girl for life, break her heart first and though i can see how that can "work" that sucks if u hafta hurt her to keep her...

anyway its almost 10pm, cant think too much now, yeah well cya readers around.
contact me sometime =]
it may or may not seem like it, and most people say this and cant back it up, but i'll say this:
"i understand more about things than most people do" i.e. life/time-space(i find it really interesting) and even relationships (parent?)(girl/guy?)(friends?) though my own relationships arent the best, i do understand, so yeah ppl come talk to me!
gl gt gj gg
good luck, good try, good job, good gam3.