There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

-Newton Faulkner (Dream Catch Me)

Just don't give up i am workin' it out
Please don't give in i won't let you down
It messed me up need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around

Hey whataya want from me?
Whataya want from me?
Whataya want from me?

-Adam Lambert (What do you want from me)

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

She calls to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

'Cause somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

-Tal Bachman (1999!) (She's So High)

H Y M N

What the hell is wrong with the world today?
Two days ago, i saw firetrucks and paramedics in 3 different places, not to mention an overturned car.
My good friend got his 3-month old laptop stolen.
Why is there war? Did we all not watch rush hour? where jackie chan sings?
"what is it good for? absolutely nothhhing! Hoo-haa- War!"
What is with the fact that human beings need conflict?
Why is it that we have to send people like one of my teammates, Jeff Ballew to Iraq?

Why is everything that we do for selfish reasons?
Whens the last time YOU did something good for a completely non selfish reason?
A time when you received utility (happiness) from just watching someone else be happy? Are you saying "you look nice today" to make that person happy? or are you doing so to get something out of them later? Are you nice to your teacher purely because you want to be? or because you hope they will be more lenient in grading?
We live in a selfish world and it sucks that i find myself acting selfishly in so many ways. Madness.

Why dont we all just calm down, take a breath, and sort things out?
Have we any idea how much crap the world could avoid if people just understood each other?
Why would someone have low enough morals to steal an innocent college freshman's laptop? why?
With this much technology, why are there more people getting hurt?

*sigh...
Cmon guys. World Peace. iLul. When that happens, thats when we pretty much know that 1. its fake. and 2. whoever brought "world peace" is probably the Antichrist.
just saying. not that we shouldn't try to better the world... but think about it. the devil's got to earn our trust somehow, and what better way to do it then to deceive us with something good? happens all the time.

But anyway, i make this post to reach out to a friend, who needs to take better care of his stuff.
and also, to gain some support for our troops.

"Evil Empire salutes 47Driver (Lt. Jeff Ballew) and Birdman (Keith Porter) on their service in Afghanistan and Iraq! God speed brothers!"

i encourage everyone to follow Jeff "47Driver" Ballew's almost daily blog. He is my teammate, who also flys 47 chinooks (CH47's) , and has been called to service for a few months. Here is a link to his blog. click follow!

http://hookflyer.blogspot.com/
if it didnt work heres the hyperlink: http://hookflyer.blogspot.com/

and our team's Youth Commander, Keith "Birdman" Porter is probably undergoing basic as i type this. (no, hes not in iraq yet. lol.)


Good On, Sir!
the Marine Corps has Hoorah, the Army has Hooah, the Navy has Hooyah
the Air Force? dont need one. ^^

- Simon "BlueBlood/Armor" Ho "There are people who would give up their friends for the world's pleasures. There are those who would give up the world for a friend. I can say, i am of the latter."

Sickest Beat Evar! -H Y M N

Jan 12 posted. Jan 13 editted.

This is for the record.
History is written by the victor.
History is filled with liars.
If he lives, and we die his truth will be written-
and ours is lost.
[He] (name not revealed) will be a hero. Cause all you need to change the world, is one good lie and a river of blood.
He's about to complete the greatest trick a liar ever played on history.
His truth will be the truth.
But only if he lives, and we die.

i love that ^^
Edited: originally this was about Murphy's Law.
But I'd actually rather use this space to talk about the poem below, Flint Strikes Wood.
Just one thing. Im glad that the poem has no ending ^^ yet.

At the same time, i do believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
There are no, NO, coincidences.
God has a plan for everything.
Everything you and I hear, see, breathe?
It was put there for a reason.
I may or may not have talked about this before, but it cannot be stressed enough.

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.

^Quote by John Churton Collins.
Saw it at the end of a show called Criminal Minds.
Assess the validity of this quote.
Well, i dont know. If everyone had no secrets, then everything we do would be exposed, but since we already know what people are "hiding" we would not be embarassed or ashamed. There would be no surprises, and only some spontaneity. I like to think that it would be like a completely free world, yet boring at the same time.
When i heard the quote, and up until now, i had planned to write about how i agreed with it. Actually, i only kind of agree. I like to find out things. I enjoy expressing myself in ways that could not be done if I didnt have secrets.
What do you think?

Flint Strikes Wood

Flint Strikes Wood
Flint Strikes Wood

Sparks! Sparks!
Flint Strikes Wood
Sparks! Sparks!
Flint Strikes Wood

Ignite! Ignite!

Rain Pours
Flint Strikes Wood
Rain Pours
Flint Strikes Wood

Water Extinguishes
Flint Falls

Drenched Wood
Watered Down Wood

One -
Last Time

Flint Strikes Wood
Sparks! Sparks!
Flames! Flames!
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Wow...what a boring poem.

Finally...Encouragement, The Norm? & 2 DLT'd Posts

6:34 PM
So today i had to to AFL (alameda free library) for my "interview" for homework coaching..(it was less an interview more of a "get to know you"...since ive been there for 2 years lol.) Well, something happened before my interview that i felt had at least God's fingertip in it. You see, i arrived at 3:40 (interview was at 3:50). I was directed to a spot to wait outside the room. It just so happens that a slightly chubby (asian i presume) man in his 30's was sitting at the same table i was at, on his laptop. Well, after about 4 minutes, the stranger asks me what kind of interview i was here for, and i tell him. We strike up some small talk, and he tells me how its so much harder to get into colleges now, with so many people, and yet we are so lucky that everyone has a cell phone and that we have the internet. He asks me what career im going into, and i say, well..i dont really know... and Mr. stranger (i still dont know his name) gives me the only advice he could, that was a referral to a book called "What Color is Your Parachute" By Richard Nelson Bolles. Picture of the book
and that Mr. Bolles came out with a new one each year. He tells me that he read a version when he was 20, and that he wished he read it at 16. I could not believe that some stranger outside of my interview room would care the least about my future, even so much so to give me advice on it. After my interview, we shook hands and he gave me the last bit of advice, to have a firm handshake :P
I walked away, with a grin, quite happy that i had this sudden occurance. I tried to find this book in the library, but sadly it was either checked out or it was never in the library. I doubt this was ever a coincidence, and i do hope to see this man again.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Whats a "normal person?" Is it just plainly the majority of people? If so, then how does one define the norm?
Consider this:
If say, 70% of a population was Caucasian, then a normal person would be caucasian.
If say, 80% of the people had blonde hair, then the normal person would be blonde.
If say, 74% of the population like chicken filled hot sauce fish burger beef steak, then the normal person would like it.
And it goes on, and on, and on...with every last detail, stating what the majority of the populus has or likes. Now, whats the probability of a scientist, singling out one person out of EVERYONE that has EVERY SINGLE one of these characteristics? um..can anyone say ZERO..well..Zero point zero zero zero one?
So in that case, is there really a "normal person?" Can we say, well the normal person has a 3.57 GPA? In theory, NO!!! Everyone has too many factors and characteristics to be put into one category of Normal.
Yet we still say, well..."hes not normal" or "a normal person doesnt do this"
people, you CANT establish a NORM!!! not 68% not 95% not 99.9%! (aka the 3 deviations lol..stats stuff :P)
_______________________________
Oh yeah, i deleted 2 of my old posts on this blog. cuz i felt like it.
GL -> GJ -> GG :D
Good luck, good job, good game.
8:12 (took me almost 2 hrs for this lol, but i did take breaks.)

Don't Make Me Regret. Don't Make Me Hate.

So the past week i've been ona cruise...I'm on aBoat!!! On my 10-day cruise to Alaska I had a lot of time to evaluate what my life is about and what i want. I also watched a lot of movies. To keep this short i will post about just a few movies that i watched over and over and that i liked. I absolutely loved the story of "Made of Honor" I watched it about 4 times. (it was replayed 12 times over the course of 3 days.) It's about a guy that likes a girl, but the girl wants him to be her maid of honor. She's about to get married and he...at the last minute declines maid of honor but leaves and sees a dog on the way and crashes the wedding. omg its so much sweeter than i made it sound. Heres a short clip of the BEST part of the movie. if you do not "awwww" at this, you are evil:

Gosh that is so cool. just those 2 lines *sigh xP
And i also..dare i say it...i watched Twilight...4 times...yes i did. and i liked it.
the story is pretty great (i never read the book.)
Just how he hates her for her blood and the love is like omg xD (The pretense that watching Twilight makes you a Nazi zombie is false for i am not a nazi now.)
I also watched "What Women want" twice. Its about this guy that gets electrified and could read womens minds. Now how do these 3 movies tie in to my title?
Well..heres the thing..When my mind feels rejected..no matter why or if it happend or not, just when it feels rejected...i start to hate the person subconciously..
Think Edward Cullen in the beginning of Twilight. I don't want to regret, and i don't want to hate. God, this is so damn hard. I don't know what a girl wants, looks? smarts? to care? I don't wanna go through life like the Made of Honor even though the ending is oh so sweet...
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse (Twilight BaseBall Scene) (you set my soul alight.)
Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park (First song of Twilight Credits)

Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Decode by Paramore BEST SONG HERE YET (2nd song of Twilight End Credits)
How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

PLEASE, if you care at ALL...just click all 3 songs and watch the 1:15 minute video.
It means ALOT to me. It only takes a few minutes to show that you care.
~

Summers here people. Wash Away the Past.

Summer's here people
Realize it.
Recognize it.
You got people in shorts
And people biking down the beach
Schools out, yay
Hope we don't miss our friends too much
Let's hang out.
Goto the mall
Watch a movie
Its the time to fly!
Lets grow wings to another country
Lets not forget the games
and endless hours couching with Mr.TV
Lets hold hands on the countryside.
or watch the July 4th parade side by side.
Lets have a picnic, me and you
and not stay home, feelin' blue.
go on xfire and lets go CODding
or fight Nazis, CoHing.
I'ma miss all my senior friends.
Hope you have fun, Gerard in France.
Lets not let life pass us by.
For me, 2 summers left, my my my.
Lets play tag, I'll catch you, or
Lets just hang, and see what it do.
Don't forget storytime, books and reading too.
Sign up for the Summer Reading program too!
Who cares if its a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just friends?
Lets just hang out, before the summer ends.

Yeah, hope ya'll aint too busy with your life and business to come hang out with lil ol' me.
Ye, well up there, theres a little something to each of my friends. especially you close lil buddies. Made it for all you. Nd if you here cuz i IMed you/xfired you/called you, etc. check out my other posts.

Make your summer special cuz you never know how many you have left.
Sup TarroYoko (gerard)
Sup Brach (brach xP nub. haha)



(Thousand Foot Kruth- The Art of Breaking) I just love how the part where he says "I'll pick you up,wont let u fall, i'll build ur trust and it wont hurt at all" sounds. especialy the "it wont hurt at all" its like cool =P i like the meaning of the song too =]

As MY World Turns

I've gone from the lil' 3rd grade kid that only 3 people would hang out with to being the life of parties.
I've gone from the kid that couldnt aim with a mouse for his life to being almost good enought to join an online league to wing $800.
I've become a person people would look at and see..hmm..theres something unique about him.
Who was I?
Who am I now?
Who will I be?
God only knows?
Will I go from someone who thinks twice about even talking to a girl, not to a pimp.., but someone who can gather up his guts to ask someone nice out?
I can only hope.
What is the change people see in me?
What do people see, when they look at me?
Do they see a genius?
Do they see a retard?
Do they see a still-growing child?
or Do they see a young man?
Do they see a generous guy with much to give?
or Do they see a selfish dog?
Do they see my kindness..or do they see the hate?
Do they see an open heart, or do they see the opposite?
Do they see God in me? or.
What/Who makes my world turn? Does he? or she? or that she? or me? or Him?

Why cant anyone see. the real me? no wait. some ppl do. nvm. =P

Well i have 2 finals tomorrow. and im blogging. good luck to me. prolly shudve studied instead. but hey re-analysis of self > than big test right?...right?!!?
anyway lol and good luck on YOUR finals guys =]

AMG! 2 posts in 15 minutes! =D

=O Yes i'm posting 2 in 15 minutes. cuz this one doesnt fit with the other and i made the other one but it just needed editing..like a few days ago. anyway.
Big Days.
What?
yeah, big days.
There are always gonna be "big days" in our lives. These "big" days get significantly bigger as we grow.
Like your first day of school. BiG DaY!. Then you have pre-school graduation! It gets bigger and bigger.
Haha like how Mel has a "big" day this saturday. XD SAT's anyone?
big days arent always very positive :(
but sometimes its nice to know we have something big to look forward to in life isnt it?
like first dates, first kisses, first marriages (haha no jk, but yeah marriage), and of course that day when that white shining door opens up for us to spend eternity.
exponentially bigger.
well. anyway. yeah. haha.

Keri Hilson rocks. or pops. w/e. lol
Lets lyric. (Yes i know. this is same song, but different stanza is quoted in my other blog and "looked" at. Anyway, a nice hmm...lets use a Monty Python word (btw Melissa u ever look up those vids? xD), a very "woody" song and not "tinny" at all.

Knock You Down by Keri Hilson everyone! lol
actually...nah...i wont...
nevermind.
i try not to use backspace. why? so that what i put. is what i put. whats done is done. but yeah haha nevermind.
so since this was a 2 blog in 15 min. or a bit more cuz i went afk....read the one under this too :)

PhenoM. dAtZ bE mE.

^does the title look retarded? humph. anyway!
Phenomenon. Lets all start callin' me that.
or.
Master Tactician. hmm... Tactical Coordinator sounds nice too.
Its been a while. since. just since.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do ( You got Me lost for Words, I dont know What to Say).
^ eROC - Speechless Chorus. Facebook hit. Good song.
And Cassie- Is it you
^hella old but damn its still good and gives me a nostalgic feeling.

Link below. Just cuz im listening to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-EOVZXNE
if u cant click it, highlight it then copy paste it.
So last time i posted...hmm..i think i was feeling more sad than happy?
anyway. i guess now im in a point where i dunno whether to be happy or sad. good for me. not really.
Whats still wrong?
Letsee, well the COD4 clan i wanna be in just recruited a really immature 16 year old instead of me. Minor problem? Meh i play alot of Call of Duty xD. Needless to say i was a pissed little geek for a bit.
My grades SUX. done deal.
Not much cheers me up.
games...im so good (its true) it gets boring...
hanging out...*whisper* to be honest...i dont hav many ppl to hang out wit..
i goto AHS once in a while...and i used togoto my friends house alot..but ...
homewking...who enjoys that?
pretty much throw ideas at me. like for me to do. i'll shoot em down for ya. that may be fun for 5 minutes. or so.
I hate it. hate what. being used. -.- Like yesterday's trash. Use once, or twice, then throw away. *sigh. ugh. if u gonna throw something away, dont use it in the first place. especially if its a person. great tip. -.-
hmm.
Apparently im a great tactitician..i wonder if that could be a FIRST position..
Inventor/Master Tactician. that sounds cool.
anyway ima cut it short here. just so i can see mel's comment before i goto bed. lol.
i'm gonna promise this. unless i change my mind about how my next blog will affect readers. anyway next one should be interesting and sorta revealing. =] no im not gay, carrie. xDDD anyway bye!. <- =O a Xclmation mark AND a period?

Pet Peevez (Peev - Vez.) *Beep Beep File Over-RideE.

Ho-Hum. Been longer than i usually take to blog...but a bit busy lately.
I would have put this on my "splitter" blog (private one) but iuno this pertains alot to ccs and public...
Anyway...for some reason i dont remember..in my blog notes (yes i put my blog ideas and stuff in notes on a piece of paper lol...) i put the word "shitty" on it, but dont remember why now..and then i wrote next to it "will only go into 4 things but in depth." so i guess that means i will write about only 4 hate/peeves. No idea how that relates to me putting "shitty" there for...anyway lets not mind that. Lets jump into the water. (Back in the Water - jesse mccartney) anyone? anyway SPLOOSH!*
Boy im gonna be pissed after writing this...(memories...)
1. Discrimminating teachers- you know the teachers that just hate.
Most people know Mr. D Han. I have a few friends that call him a *non PG word(el oh el.) He just hates. I dont even know why he hates me. Oh wait, i DO know.
Everyone knows Mrs. Carlson has favorites (this will apply in a sec.) Luckily, im one of them. Shes always tellin the class how im smart and can do stuff twice as fast..and get them right...(and that i need to show work and write less sloppily cuz ppl cant follow wat im doin) And guess what Mr.Han is always in the classroom..his office is there. So one day, Little Daniel subs for our class and we had some classwork. Well...like 5 people are asking me for help and im justhelping them. Little Daniel just comes by and starts sayin stuff like "your not so special blah blah blah" and im really just like WTF...im just helpin ppl. and omg this 1 thing already so long. I was gonna say how Mrs. Sun(mandarin) is a bad teacher too..but w/e. you get the gist of wat i hate.
2. Kids that think they're in authority. Especially if they're a real butthole about it...hey at least i get to see the real side of people...like that andrew kid...(junior..this should ring a bell..and yes carrie this is one of the 2 guys i told u to block on facebook? the dude that bought me from u on friends for sale? ye that guy.) Anyone else in ccs notice that if u talk to him he acts like hes all that but if u dont talk to him hes all quiet and just stares at stuff? haha the other day the kid was all acting like hes admin of school comps cuz i was using it and that alan go kid was buggin me so andrews just pushes me awaya nd logs off..well guess what he didnt know, im a comp maintent. kid too so in his face. xD. immaturity vs immaturity!
3. People that use: proms,formals,balls,etc. as a first date thing. Anyone else here think thats extremely shallow? seriously ive had friends that ask ppl to events as a first date. i usually tell em not too...bah half the time they dont listen. things like that are like 3rd date plus invites. Why would u ask someone that u dont even know if they like you?
4. Age discrimination (half jokingly.) K. Lets start with this. a 26 yr old talking to a 27 year old. Who here can see the difference? GOOD JOB YOU CANT. So. Why does my grade treat some freshmen different from sophs? and for soulsakes why can Mel high five juniors but not me? >=[ im pretty sure that was a joke. but its so frikkin true. ... im just gonna dot dot dot for a while. ... .... ...
seriously?
K. Now to examine our sin nature shall we?
I will say a true given fact about myself.
" I, Simon Ho, am more mature than i was 4-6 months ago, in spirit and in mind."
Now i want you ALL to comment me with a comment including this: what was your first thought when u read this? BE HONEST.
if you were thinking about chicken, say CHICKEN.
if you thought "No your not..." Then say that. <--that is our sin nature. Our first thought would normally be to contradict the given.
even though i explained it. post your thoughts. and believe me, i AM expecting a "no your not." prove me right or wrong, just be honest.
and to end...my private sig.
-=TimeSplitter [The Real Splitter]

Photoshop?

So..Melissa wnted me to blog about photoshop?
lol
either she replied to the wrong IM or..well i dunno, anyway here it is. lets start with defintion
Photo manipulation is the application of image editing techniques to photographs in order to create an illusion or deception , courtesy of google and wiki ;)

K...i havnt really used photoshop, never installed PS, and i think i only touched it once.
Yay me.
It makes pictures look good i guess. I use Picasa...pretty much the same thing..i hav some cool pix of that on my myspace(no idea wat linkto my myspace is and im too lzy to go there.)k, so hmm...mel's in yrbook so im guessin she uses it alot? dunno..
Photoshop...pictures...pictures are cool. I like pictures. They speak 1000+ words.
I like taking pictures...um...yeah.

so...anyway lol,
i was at library homework coaching, and this cute little kid (2nd grade i think) named Brandon(i think) came in and was doing his homework...and it had something to do with love and we had the HARDEST time trying to explain to a 2nd grader what love was...haha..funny stuff
but eventually one of us said "its like giving your heart to someone"
and then brandon said "why would you want to give your heart to someone?"
*sigh...
aww moment.
aww moment some more.
now.. why WOULD u giv ur heart to someone?
lol...
yeah well anyway, this short lil blog is all i have time for at the moment...gotta tell mel to comment =P

and if anyone's seen my AIM buddy info lately, ive decided most of the world isnt ready to see my other blog ;].

Life sucks, Lets all goto Heaven...Right Now. (Emo-moo-cow stylez)

I always wished..that my blog would impact someones life, and it might have..and it also might not have.
And whether it has or not, im still sorta glad i made this.
It helps me put out what i am and i can read it over and analyze myself.
I also wish..that my life would be impacted in a really good way.
But...no.
Everything was better last year when i didnt care about anything.
Last year i could care less about anything and everything turned out great.
Now i care about people's feelings and stuff and i end up worse.
Last year i was friends only with real people and people i really wanted to get to know (both guys and girls.)This year i have more friends but half of em are fake.
Last year i had great relationships and now.. its not as cool.; a great example would be melissa, yea you!
By now ya'll kno i notice any and everything people do and that includes changes in behavior. I DO notice everything...we talk less, u seem to care less, u seem to respect me less(tho i prolly deserve that..) , u never want to hang out (yeah okay ur busy..i understand that lol), and either coincidentally or not, u seem to leave when i show up somewhere...that or we sit there with nothing to talk about =[. Until someone else comes. But yeah i dunno if u do this on purpose or not and if u notice it or not...but thats whats happening =[ and any bad relationship with any of my friends make me sad ='[
Last year, i ended with about 722 bucks in my little bank account, at this moment i have 30 dollars.
Last year, my parents didnt show their love too much, but they argue more with me this year..
Somehow, everything changed. EVERYTHING. and i HATE it. Will everyone help me work things out so everything was like last year? Even for just one day.
Is my life really this miserable...or is it that i only notice all the bad things.
A few posts ago i was offering help and my email for those who needed support.
Now I NEED YOUR HELP.
*sigh...fine.."pretty pretty please? with a cherry on top?"
*'*Anonymous/openID comments accepted, email: timesplitter101@gmail.com , AIM: IczyG999 (private)
okay. so im prolly ending v-day half content but i still hate valentines..lol(not really lol).

Some things Ive Learned

I've learned a few things in the past 2 years during different situations of my life...its obvious where they are from. Doubt you can find this on the internet, came from the top of my head as well as my AIM buddy info lol.

I'll start with the most important thing: I'm a selfish person and my priorities arent right and i really need God's help.
I learned that i've had things catered to me all my life i want things catered to me now.
I dont know what the h-e-double hockeysticks to do when i like a girl.
I need to pray.
I need to pray for God to help me lead a more selfless life. To put other first.
John 3:30 says "He must become greater; I must become less"

fewchr49er (11:45:56 PM): God must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:01 PM): Jesus Christ must become greater

fewchr49er (11:46:06 PM): and you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:46:31 PM): He must increase, you must decrease

fewchr49er (11:47:18 PM): remember when we met up in my office...and we were talking about this all? i wanted you to realize what identity in Christ means...and how that affects your life

fewchr49er (11:48:19 PM): cuz i truly believe that when you finally believe that you are fully loved, cherished, accepted, and significant in God's eyes no matter what......then you can love others they way Christ did: selflessly and sacrificially

fewchr49er (11:49:31 PM): you don't need (****) to make you feel accepted. you don't even need me to make you feel important. somehow, some way...you've got to wholeheartedly believe that all that matters is your relationship with God.

yup. i need to be a more selfless and Godly man which is a grueling journey as i've been told.
I gots to put others first and care more about others
and not how people make me feel or what they can do for me, but how i can make them feel and what i can do for THEM.
And with friends like mine, im pretty sures i can do it.
so...who wants to come along for the journey?
(although you'll prolly never read this, ty so much toby =].)

so what else have i learned?
an important thing is people have "nice" levels. Friendly levels? dunno what im talkin bout? let me explain.
in this world there are people where if they just smile at you, then you know they are being nice or they like u, BUT there are also people where if al they do is just smile at you then you know somethings wrong.
like say there are 2 girls, ones really shy and ones really popular. If the shy girl smiles at u and just says like 6 words to u, then well wow right? but if the popular one just says 6 words and gives u asmile then its like what the...whatd i do wrong? u kno that kinda thing.
I analyze most people like this lol, like lets umm.. take an example that ahem..
lets just take
err..ashley (melissa's sister) for example lol. sorry, but this is a really good example.
shes a really friendly person that talks to her friends alot and stuff, but if shes not in the mood, or pissed or something she gives ppl a wierd smile =P iuno if any1 else notices it. she still talks to em but her smile's differnt. that kinda thing.
also people act differntly when they hear about stuff, like rumors and stuff.
someone may be really friendly and stuff but usually if they hear gossip/rumors and stuff about a person that attitude changes...its really hard to say it in words but argh...
lets try this:
person 1 talks to person 2 alot (1000 words), person 1 hears rumor/gossip, person 1 now talks to person 2 (400 words) and person 2 probably wonders wow what the () just happend?, person 1 hears more stupid stuff, now talks to person 2 even less (20 words)...that kinda thing. not the best example i know.
so the point of this i guess is watch what you all say/act around me (not like to be mature or not) but just cuz i can watch and tell people's friendly levels and i KNOW somethings wrong when it is, and i never ask cuz i want to know, its cuz i wanna see how bad it is and if they'll tell me or not :)
yes i kno this can be sort of confusing in a way, but i hope the point was gotten =P
alotta people do subtle perhaps even subconscious things to show things.
Some are more obvious than others..
like if they think you're boring, they'll leave ur conversations (this is actually more subtle though in words it doesnt look it.)
people naturally talk to other people less for a few reasons which may or may not be independent: they know something you dont, they think you know something they know, they simply dont like you, they're mad, etc.
and iuno some of these might not be true...could be me just over analyzing EVERYTHINg that EVERYONE does...iuno...just alotta things i feel are wrong and i feel like i know why but im not sure and not sure i really want to know...and everything i do..comes back to bite me hard in the face..every single thing i try to do to better my life(selfish i know...) or someone elses...

I learned i need friends i can count on...and that there are 3 main things in life that should be prioritized (as a high schooler/collge):
God, friends, grades.
I will put what the order i my life is in and how i think it should be and i encourge comments to include this as well.
Me: Friends,God,grades
What it should be: God,Friends,Grades
For a lot of people at this age though...its Grades,Friends, God...which really sucks cuz i think that if a friend needs me i should and would help them and drop all my hw and studying for them...i dunno...

meh, anyway, one more thing, i just read through my yearbooks through for like the past hour, and i find that alot of people dont mean what they say..which sucks cuz i dont like fake people...like some people say "oh your so cool" or "we should hang out more" but the next year its all different from what they say there...seriously..
i try to mean what i say at least lol.

hmm...anything else...
well what kinda guy am i?
im not:
the most athletic, the most good looking, and depending who/where u ask, im not the most popular (popularity is a bit shallow i'nt it? lol)
i AM:
smart...sorta...
fun(ny) (i try? lol)
sensitive (anyone can probably tell that if they read my blogs)
again depending on who/where u ask, im popular...but <--i dont really care bout that... i'd say "deep" but then saying it would be shallow and now that i just said it <.< though

now afterrrr reading all this and if anyone has any questions, advice, tips, need guidance?
i could tell you anything from how love is different from just chemicals in your brain to why porn is bad for your health, to what i think about time-space continuum to my thoughts on suicide. =D

="D" href="mailto:simrayho@yahoo.com">simrayho@yahoo.com (spam not accepted)
IczyG 999 (AIM)

What I Feel Though Noone Cares

So, i started this "draft" about 2 or 3 weeks ago..3 i think. below is what i thought about writing about. the one directly below i wrote 3 weeks ago.

Every guy needs that one girl, that he understands, that understands him, the one that comforts him, and he comforts her,

^forget that...anyway...a week ago i was going to blog about Cho Seung Hui. type that name in google...and also about suicide victims, the how, the why, and why they aren't crazy or stupid.

then about 4 days ago was like nah, i'll blog about friendships, but yesterday, that speaker at chapel talked about it and had all my points except 1: Pity does not = friendship, even though alotta ppl pity ppl then become their friends...had a few experiences of that myself...but pity not = friendship...now...

i'll rant about FIRST...then...perhaps some other non sequitor random thoughts.. here we go, put on ur seat belts..

disclaimer: this is in no way to be offensive to first members/friends in first/especially not you melissa =P....i'll just state a few facts/opinions...okay...wel...even though i say no offense its hard not be offended sometimes, dont take a rant too seriusly =]
FIRST really changes some people...ppl yell at ppl more...less friendly..as if we could get 2nd to last...facts facts facts rude? letdown? its fact...yes we hav 6000 or so bucks, but seriously we're like 10 weeks behind 99.99% the other teams...ever since we started, so since we dont really win and we really fail, dont take it so...hard...i mean yeah sure be serious about it but dont get all pissed over nothing...like...nvm...ppl kno who takes it too seriously...anyway..moving on...

FIRST: F...I....Robot(?)...S....T...forgot what they stand for anyyyyyyways..
ok...so i may be a newb/rookie/noob/n00b....w/e (noob: name commonly used by computer nerds in the computer world used for putting down others in order to compensate for their smallness in life) thanks to A.Chow/Alex Chow(great(*donkey*) artist) for the definition (tytytyty bro, and alex, u shud put that def. back in ur buddy info!)

and yes all grunt jobs goto...rookies...but that tradition should be broken geez if u give all that stuff to the new ppl, what if they quit cuz they have exactly zero amount of fun? guess people never thnk about it and just accept it ...

thats not what i hate most...what i hate most is the fact that the people i hafta answer to...(perhaps 88% of them...) are err... smart people with no life...computer nerds (as Achow puts it, and no NOT geeks, geeks refer to smart ppl with a life...i.e.well..me..yes im a geek...)
or ppl that are the same as me (elton? seriously now?!?!?!? he tells me wat to do? seriously...)
or ppl that are less mature than i am (jeffrey...*yells in frustration...little kid...acts like i did in 8th grade...like exactly like me, likes to mess around with people and acts mature about 15% of the time) and this is the guy that keeps sayin "haha i hafta watch you! i hafta watch you!" (immature retard...) *cough *cough i didnt say that -.- whatever its a blog...
also lets get some definitions eh? Geek: smart with a social life, Nerd: smart with no social life, Dork: stupid no life, Normal: not the smartest, has a life, popular: usually stupid with a life.
(how melissa made social butterfly in yearbook while being smart ceases to amaze me haha jk jk =P)
geez...its hard to let out anger in text...perhaps i should youtube vid...humph...you all hav no idea how mad i get when ppl like...*cough huh? *cough (may choose to edit and post names later..) boss me around like they all that... okay so you joined FIRST 1 or 2 years earlier...experience? yeah yeah whatever....
gosh this rant isnt expressing what im trying to express...perhaps i really should have done a Cho Seung Hui blog first...(if ur too lazy its V.Tech killer, no he wasnt crazy, no he wasnt stupid, now stop criticizing him, he was psychologically correct in all his thinkings except the fact that he thought he was dying like Jesus/ and the fact that he used a weapon to show it, he was actuallly a nice guy...) if you're stubborn and still think he's crazy/stupid/etc. then think im crazy whatever...i hav similar views on the world but no i wont do what he did...im almost completely harmless...
if people talked to him, helped him, asked how he felt just once...he'd still be alive...
(hello? hint hint...)
oh yeah, i did a half hour job in 10 min...bah nvm like anyone cares...i dont even care about that anymore..not worth ranting about...
ok..i'll edit this post later..if i hav anymore ideas about FIRST

Anyway, i included some tags/labels and if anyone wants to have a deep conversation about life/death/suicide (i seriously do understand)/etc. i will be here, my public AIM is shouter123 and im on half the day (12 hrs ish on weekdends) and private AIM is IczyG 999,
my email is simrayho@yahoo.com (no spam please...dont be immature like jeffrey/albert (kid at school thats only mature half the time)

and if you wanna help me out? (i need some help in life, its a "valley" right now...my grades suck more than usual, i doubt the girl i like even likes me the slightest bit anymore, my parents for some reason get stricter as i get older...-.- and much more...)
im always free to talk at school, if you're a friend that goes to ccs (my school.).

"how can you be broken if you were never whole?"

h-huhhum...if you're in a downhill curve in life, media(songs and such) help ease the pain but dont always trust the words/lyrics...
like this one song: (good charlotte: break apart her heart) it basically said this: if you wanna keep the girl for life, break her heart first and though i can see how that can "work" that sucks if u hafta hurt her to keep her...

anyway its almost 10pm, cant think too much now, yeah well cya readers around.
contact me sometime =]
it may or may not seem like it, and most people say this and cant back it up, but i'll say this:
"i understand more about things than most people do" i.e. life/time-space(i find it really interesting) and even relationships (parent?)(girl/guy?)(friends?) though my own relationships arent the best, i do understand, so yeah ppl come talk to me!
gl gt gj gg
good luck, good try, good job, good gam3.

Fish in the Sea Yada Yada Yada

WARNING!!!!! not really but anyway, this blog is gonna be really long...but i promise you...you will get something out of it and you will find it interesting...thats a PROMISE..so yeah read the whole thing..shouldnt take u 5 minutes...took me like 30 min to type this up lol

so me, me me me me me...
well...i used to be somewhat conceited though it was mostly jokingly lol.
i tend to come off as a bit immature, yes a bit, but in reality...im really not...now you're looking for a "PSYCH!" but no really...i just talk alot...and that can be seen in alot of ways and yes im trying to stop talkin so much, and yeah i know i can be slightly annoying at times ( one of the reasons i "suck" im sure...)
well heres my err..greatest..flaw? yeah well here it is, and quite unknown to well everyone actually: fact is, i overanalyze what people say to me...heres an example: if i say hi/hey/wtsup/etc. to especially a girl (><), and she says hi back...i will completely "analyze" how she said it, her tone of voice, any motions that signal how she feels at the moment, and yeah its sorta weird >.< wrong ="[...but">.<
seriously though...im not that bad of a guy am i? i mean im always trying to be that caring, compassionate, guy that is also a good listener, ya kno, "perfect guy" cept for tall dark and handsome....lol...anway..
so lets leave this with a few cool questions/quotes that i thought up either in some class or at 10pm at night in my bed:
1. got hope? (seriously think about that)

2. Love is the sworn enemy of the heart.

3. There is no absolute truth except the one just stated. (this isnt true i know it, i just put this here cuz people keep using that stupid 12 year old comeback: how bout the one u just said?)

4. (in no way does this apply to me as im not emo lol) in Kanye West's song: Stronger, he says "that that dont kill me, can only make me stronger" now...what if it does kill you? like you know..inside...again this dont apply to me..just a cool thing to think about lol

5. If you had one "do-over-free" card, what would you do? seriously would you do anything? cuz you know..without that one "bad" thing...you might not be where you are today, or feel the way you feel today...i thought about it, and seriously, i'd say no thanks

6. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made? What did you learn from it?

7. Profound things dont come to you when you try to be profound, they come to you when you least expect it, i.e. when you're doing nothing/just sitting around/doing homework...its true, just take 10 minutes right now and try your best and try to think up something profound/deep...bet you cant...it doesnt come like that =]

8. Life is like a train (the old kind ya kno the ones that run on coal)..in 2 ways:
You get on (birth) and you ride through life, cant escape from it until you get off, and all you can really do is make the best out of the scenery, and when you get to your stop, you get off and step into Heaven.
You get on the train and you may be sitting in coach or maybe your sitting in economy..throughout the ride, you move through the train, sometimes stepping into rooms worst than yours like the place they keep all the coal to move the train, or sometimes you step into a cool room way more luxorious than yours. Getting off means the same thing.
Thing is, life has its ups and downs and all we can really do is make the best of it...
i like the 2nd one more cuz i know i feel more like im in a worse place than i started all the time...

9. There are many more fish in the sea...does anyone but me see that comment as a bit stupid? why? cuz...lets say ur fishing...u want to catch lets say...a big giant catfish to bring home to your family..but guess what, all u catch is 20 goldfish, 1 guppie, and 2 anchovies, hey look u didnt just catch 1 fish! u caught 23!!! can u feed ur family? no! does it mean anything? probably not!..so who cares how many fish (girls)..are out there...it doesnt mean anything except for that one (in a trillion..) that would really like you(me)(whoever) back..thats really kind, beautiful, blah blah you know...and however many other "fish" there are in the sea...could be infinite..wont matter...NoTe: in no way am i comparing girls to fish. haha lol =]

anyway yeah i know this is really really long, but comments!!!
hey yea i hav anonymous comments enabled, so if you comment, be so kind to leave ur name if u dont want to sign on ur blog/ or ur just some stranger/ or ur a friend who dont hav a blog =]

So...Been Thinking

So anyway, i was at church, in Sunday School yesterday
Yeah, well we had to write down 3 things we were a failure at since we became teenagers (anonymous)...Well, im an epic fail we know that, and it got me thinking about the biggest mistakes i ever made...and i guess...i KNOW the biggest one i ever made was as an immature little kid in 7th grade...well everybody likes someone and everybody wants to know who other people like, and my personal greatest epic fail was playing a game with it...
hey, is it ___? maybe, pick a letter, oh hey guess wat it has an "e" in it somewhere...stuff like that... and i guess i messed around with this stuff too much...people figure it out and things spreaad and eventually "she" hears about it from her friends...all awkward and stuff...*sigh* looking back, i realize that i was so stupid....so so so stupid....now i know, but i wish i knew then...
and guess what, at least i learned something: if i like someone i shud either not tell anyone at all, no games nothing, or tell it straight out...and whatever happens, she should be the FIRST...not last to know...and yeah i know i still can be immature alot, but i guess i'll grow, with a few friends helping me eh? =D thanks to my friends for well being there for me to vent, talk to, give me hope...thanks
i'll be there for you too =]

yeah well, thats my blog for the week, comment and yeah tell me how i fail at life, its been accepted, lol, commentzzz

**Since you been gone, ive been down and lonely
Since you been gone, ive been thinking of you**
-=Diana Ross=-
that song is sooo old, like 70's old, anyway the jabba remix of it sounds cool and lyrics mean something

i hope my blog wasnt in anyway corny, wasnt intended

ooh =D

hey cool blogger changed its format
anyway, i havnt been on as i been home alot and on call of duty =( [nerd]
lol anyway, im at library rite now
dont wanna come back to school...summer just is like ....*whew* gone...and its been like what 3 weeks...not 3 months...this sux....i mean sure u get to c ur friends and stuff...but summer is just so much more fulfilling and gosh i cant think right now...i dont wanna go back to school
wahhhhhhhhh

*
**
***
**
*

errr....
my job is to be your optimism.
haha hey that sounded pretty cool, yeah i made that up like 20 seconds ago >.< =D

my life as a well...jus some guy that nobody notices =D

haha well
letsee
i had a take home test, 7 pages front back, and a 3 hr final this thursday...ALL on statistics...how fun
hey at least i dont got summer work =D haha
there shudnt be AP classes, everybody should just take all the same classes likei n 5th grade
that way, itd be grades and not just o hey he took AP!
blah blah blah..too much work too
>.<


im gonna be random 2day
so...err....o hey, i actually hav 3 people that read my blog!
haha used to be just john and melissa, nwo some dude that was looking thru his
friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' friends' blogspots, came upon mine and ssaw i played CODfish4! lol
how fun
just for him, >.< i will talk about codfish for a moment
=JCC=IczyG= i have joined new clan! yay
{WEED}Altair, knife only acct
FatBabyBstard <---heheh new acct
and wow that made me sound so geeky
crap...thats bad for image huh? o well
lolz

errr...
hmm....
i have a dude in my stats class that looks like P. Diddy =D
and this dude that sorta looks like Luda, Ludacris =D
err....
hmm....

well..im at library =) and on meebo
thats about it for now
o yeah, im goin to a play at chabot...on sunday...at 2 o clock...i hope i can make it
i hope its good...
haha lol! im sure it will be
=D

o hey, has anyone ever wondered how things would be like...when everything perfect?
heres my 'renditions':
dinner: anything i can afford
ideal-perfect dinner: fancy restraunt, table by the window, right by beach, then after, walk on the beach =) plus cuddling o how fun....

the date: prolly anything i can afford >.<
ideal: anything she wants...and....if its a movie, nothing scarier than the Joker >.< haha lol

the gift: 1 flower i find on some garden...or something i can afford
ideal: flowers, jewelry, or anything she asked for =D

the girl: whoever God gives me, beautiful, and likes me for who i am
ideal: same as above


dumdeedumdumdum
im gonna do a "my job" line that i will make up after every one of my blogs starting today
just to start it off...i will do 2 today =D

"My job--is to make you feel like the beautiful person you are, when you are feeling ugly."
"My job--is to listen to your every word, and remember those words forever, or at least for 10 years."
=D

)-=iczy=-(

haha =P

man, i cant believe nobody replied to my last post
who DOESNT think im hot seriously lolz
haha
im bein bored at library
err.. i got A+ on statistics test yay me
life been boring
ish
not really
life been sucking
ish
not really either
o hey, its wednesday = FREE ICED COFFEE! at starbuckz lol
i got a card =D
pretty tight

dum dee dum

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monday =D
shhhhhhhhhhhh
=)
lol
=P
bye bye